


I Prayed To You Every Night

by killmetatron



Series: I'd Rather Have You [2]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Love Letters, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-19
Updated: 2013-11-19
Packaged: 2018-01-02 01:25:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 483
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1050870
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/killmetatron/pseuds/killmetatron
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean writes a letter to his dead soulmate, Castiel</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Prayed To You Every Night

Dear Cas,

I’m not very good at writing letters, so I apologize in advance for how crappy this is going to be. But I guess you already knew I suck at this, didn’t you? You know me better than anyone, even Sammy. You know me, Cas, and I can never tell you how much I appreciate that.

I feel lost without you. I miss you so much, Cas. I miss everything about you; about us. We were perfect, weren’t we? As close to perfect as I’ll every get. I still can’t believe you’re gone. It doesn’t seem real. How could a fucking car crash kill a former angel? It doesn’t make any sense, Cas. I never even thought of it as a possibility. I should have been more careful making that turn. I’m so sorry. I didn’t see that truck. I should have seen it. I should have been able to save you. You saved me so many times, Castiel. I should have been able to save you too.

Baby is completely wrecked now, but I don’t think I’m going to fix her up. I don’t want the memories I know will come back. I don’t want to think about you trying (and failing) to figure out how to work the cassette player, or the way your hair blew in the wind when we opened up the windows. I don’t want to remember sitting on the hood with you, drinking beer and watching the sunset. I don’t even want to remember that time you appeared on her naked and covered in bees, and I especially don’t want to remember the first time we had sex, naked and steaming up the windows, skin on skin on the leather of the back seat.

I sat with you in the hospital the whole time, angel. I had a broken leg and a couple of bruised ribs and the doctors kept telling me to go back to my room, but I couldn’t leave you. They knew you weren’t going to make it, so they eventually stopped trying to move me. Sam came too, eventually, but then he left to leave us alone. He knew that some final alone time with you was important to me. I sang you our song.

I held your hand the whole time. I knew you get scared in hospitals, even though you never say so. I guess I know you as well as you knew. I hope I never forget a single detail about you. You really were family, Cas. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you that enough while you were alive. Where do fallen angels go when they die? I hope you’re in Heaven. And I hope I’ll see you there when my time comes. Even Heaven wouldn’t really be Heaven without you.

I love you, Castiel. I love you forever. I’ll send you a kiss every night.

Yours forever,  
Dean


End file.
